Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, and The Tooth Fairy

This post is specifically about Santa Claus, though I thought I should mention the other two, as they are in the same camp.  Although I must say that The Tooth Fairy is shockingly forgetful, and dare I say, incompetent . . .  Anyway, I was thinking today about the beginning of our homeschooling journey, now nearly 18 years ago, when we found ourselves in the midst of the Christian homeschooling movement.  There is a very long list of reasons as to why we never really "fit in" back then.  And while that list still exists, the difference is that we don't try to fit in any longer . . .

We'd been homeschooling (unschooling by this time, but shhhh . . .) for a little over a year when Christmas rolled around.  And more importantly, we had always perpetuated the myth of that Jolly Old Elf (Santa) in our home (heinous, I know).  It had never occurred to me that any of my kids' sweet new friends would tell them that, brace yourself, SANTA CLAUS IS NOT REAL.  We had hopped in our van after a homeschooling craft day at a friend's home, and my children dropped the bomb on me.  "So and so said that SANTA CLAUS IS NOT REAL!" 

Oh!  The shock.  The horror.  How was I to affect damage control?!?  At that moment, I had to tell my children the COLD, HARD TRUTH  . . .  "Those kids don't believe and so Santa will NOT be coming to their house on Christmas eve!  How sad for them . . ."  There.  Done.  And, of course, by the time Easter rolled around the following year, I was prepared.  "Those kids don't believe, so The Easter Bunny will NOT be hopping on over to their homes on Easter!  How sad for them . . ."

From that time on, as my children grew and dropped off the "believer" list, I made sure to remind them of how magical it was to believe in Santa, The Easter Bunny, and The Tooth Fairy (fraud), and that they should never burst the bubble of their younger siblings or any other child.  Sadly, all of my children are in the non-believing camp now  . . .  : (    I reminded my two youngest just the other day to remember the magic and to not spoil it for other kiddos . . .  : )

Parenting Ain't No Place for Sissies

I heard of homeschooling for the first time in a 1989 issue of Mothering Magazine.  I never even knew it existed before then.  When we decided to “try” homeschooling (which would morph into unschooling in our lives after about 3 weeks), I had never met, let alone spoken to, another homeschooler.  Eventually, after 5 months, my family would become connected with the local Christian homeschool support group, and so began our journey with other Christian homeschoolers. 

I was a newbie, both to homeschooling and to the politics that sometimes surrounds being a Christian.  Perhaps as a result of the behavior of my children?!, I was either given or had recommended to me a few different parenting books.  One in particular stands out in my mind as being quite disturbing to me at the time.  My husband and I would later have a “ceremonial burning” of that book in our campfire ring . . .  ; )  The authors recommended ways of discipline that my husband and I were absolutely not comfortable embracing.  But the most disturbing part was the narrative put forth that if Christian parents DIDN’T embrace those ways of discipline that they were going against scripture.  We rejected that narrative then, and we still reject it now.  I felt brave back then (albeit PRIVATELY brave), as we were definitely going against the tide of parenting/discipline beliefs of many of our closest homeschooling friends.  Back then, I wasn't necessarily completely honest about what I thought for fear of not "belonging".  What I know as truth now is that I shouldn't have been trying to belong . . . 

I’ve read many different Christian parenting books and articles on biblical parenting and discipline since then, and I am happy to say that my husband and I were not and are not the only Christians to reject the narrative found in that book all those years ago.  I’ve been parenting for nearly 24 years now and unschooling for over 17, and I still love to read books and articles on parenting, which leads me to one of the purposes of this post . . . 

I had heard of the book “Parenting Wild Things:  Embracing the Rumpus” (www.parentingwildthings.com) by Jessica Bowman (https://www.facebook.com/BohemianBowmans?ref=ts) several months ago and most recently read a review of the book by my friend, Tammy Metz.  I finally downloaded it onto my Kindle app today and read the entire thing while relaxing in hot bath . . .  It’s a great book on gentle and respectful parenting and is available today from Amazon for just $3.00 on pdf and $4.14 for Kindle.  Check it out!  You won’t be disappointed.

Extreme School Supply Shopping: In Which We Attempt to Dodge Inquiring Minds

Grace, Lirit and I went to Wal-mart two weeks ago to buy school supplies.  We love school supplies.  Who doesn't, right?!?  I don't know how it is where you live, but here, Wal-mart has a display in the front of the store housing papers containing lists of school supplies required to be purchased by parents for their child(ren)'s upcoming school year.  The lists are for specific grades within specific schools with specific school districts.  The fact that there isn't a piece of paper in the display labeled SPANISH PEAKS ACADEMY (the name of our little homeschool) is a source of mild frustration for my kiddies.  Anyway, those lists include items such as hand sanitizer and tissues, as well as what you would consider traditional school supplies.

I must admit to some trepidation when stepping into the school supply aisles . . .  While scanning the shelves and picking out "cool stuff" (since we don't have a government-mandated list), I am hoping that no one will ask any of the questions in the dreaded series of questions . . . What district are you in?  What school?  What GRADE are you going into? ~ Then, after we've answered these with D70, we homeschool, and dumbstruck looks from my kids who just wish I'd ASSIGN them a grade, ALREADY . . .   we hear, Really?  I could never homeschool. Is it hard? How much are you monitored by the government?  What curriculum do you use?  I have a friend who homeschools using ABEKA.  Have you ever considered cyber-school? ~ (Cue squirming and some uncomfortable silences) ~  Don't get me wrong.  Almost everyone is always VERY NICE, and I understand that they are curious.

It's just that this line of questioning puts me at odds with my inherent compulsion to always TELL THE TRUTH.  The curriculum question, if answered honestly, always leads to UNschooling?!?  What's that?  I've never heard of that!?  So, to be completely honest HERE, RIGHT NOW, I sometimes just say, umm . . .  we use various, er uh, curriculum items.  And since my nose is already beginning to grow, I answer the rest of the questions in the series with things like, yes, homeschooling isn't for everyone, and we fully comply with Colorado's homeschool law (that part's true, of course) and we've been homeschooling for 17 years, long before cyber-schooling came into existence, and it has worked very well for us, AKA, I have two full-grown, fully functional adult daughters.  Wanna see pictures?!? lol.  Sometimes it's just easier to tell people what they want to hear, ya know?!?  And once the school supplies go on clearance, it's really only homeschoolers that you'll find in those aisles . . .  And once the kids have been back in school for a few weeks, the line of questioning changes and comes from the check-out clerks . . .  What?  No school, today?  Anyway . . .

After our cart has enough markers, crayons, colored pencils, composition books (we decoupage the covers), Elmer's Glue-All and glue sticks for at least a few months, we stealthily make our way out of the school supply aisles and head over to the safety of the LEGO aisle.

My Sweet Laken

Our oldest, Laken Julia, got a work promotion and moved to Loveland, Colorado (3 hours from us) at the end of April of this year.  She's an introvert and doesn't make friends very easily.  She's got to get to know someone really well before she'd call them friend, and she just doesn't put herself out there to really meet anyone.  She spends most of her time at work, but she can't really form any friendships there as it's frowned upon.  So, she's lonely all the way up there.  Whenever she has at least a day and a half off or more, she comes to see us.  She took a week of vacation and spent it all with us.  I'm so thankful that she wants to spend her free time with us.  She came to visit this weekend for the Pueblo Chile and Frijoles Festival, and as always, when she left it was absolutely heart-wrenching.  About a half hour before she has to leave, we all start to feel sick at our stomachs and the bawling starts.  Reminds me of when I leave my sweet sisters behind or vice versa.  Today, I hugged her forever.  I wanted to tell her to quit that *&%$! job and move home.  She must have been reading my mind . . .  She said, "Only six more months until my apartment lease is up and I can request a transfer closer to home."  Home.  I can't wait.  I miss my Lakey Juldie . . .  <3

I'm a blogger?!?!?

Well, I have been kicking this blogging idea around for a while . . .  I don't exactly know what I'll blog about, but apparently, I'm not going to let that stop me . . . 

It's 2:52 p.m., and my 20-year-old daughter, Eden, just made us each a cuppa tea and is baking scones . . .  She's now digging through my basket of fave DVDs for something for us to watch together for a few hours.  It doesn't really matter to me what she chooses . . .  I'm kind of ambivalent about life lately . . .   Well, not really "lately" -- I can date my ambivalence to February 14, 2010 -- the date of my mum's sudden death.  She had been living with my family, and she just didn't wake up that morning.  And although I'm not sobbing every minute of the day at this point, I still strongly feel the effects of that loss.  I don't make lists any more.  I used to love to make lists.  Lists were a highlight in my life.  I don't follow through on anything any more.  I mean, I "finish" things, but not well, usually.  So, consequently, I try not to start things that are not absolutely necessary to every day life (you know, like knitting projects or books), so that finishing them won't be an issue.

I'm not looking for sympathy here . . .  And I'm not really looking for advice, because I already know what I need to do.  After all, I have six children -- four of whom who are under 18.  I don't really share much of this with my husband, although he'd be happy to listen.  He's just also happy to try to "fix" the situation.  And I know that he feels the effects of my loss, as well. 

I'd covet the prayers of anyone who chooses to read this.  And I promise that not all of my posts will be so . . . well, like this one.